


Loss

by venomtots (mercready)



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Dan is a Good Man, Eddie gets a hug, Eddie needs a hug, Emotional Eddie Brock, Gender Neutral Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Grief/Mourning, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, I should have included the cat, Other, Soft Eddie, Symbiote hot potato, That One Scene Everyone is Writing About, choo choo all aboard the angst train, good ending, non-toxic masculinity, venom is okay I promise!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16393598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercready/pseuds/venomtots
Summary: The loneliness was colder than the water in which he had fallen. It ate him from the inside out, crawling around in the empty chasm that had formed inside of him. It clawed at him, scraped against his insides like it was trying to escape his all-too-human body. Eddie had never thought it was possible to feel too human. But he did.





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, welcome to my first official contribution to this fandom! I've had feels since I watched the movie for the first time, and all five times after that. Join me in Symbrock hell.
> 
> Please also check out my tumblr if you like, @venomtots! (It’s dedicated to exactly what it sounds like)

The loneliness was palpable, and painfully so. Even as he saw familiar faces above him, there was an empty ache inside of him that Eddie couldn’t immediately place.

The plunge in the water had dazed him, and it had taken everything just to pull himself to shore, where he’d sprawled out half-conscious and soaked until Anne had come frantically running. He couldn’t quite remember what had happened. Burning skin and smoke. Fire. Lots of fire.

 _Venom_.

He had tried to form words, but his mouth opened and closed clumsily, teeth chattering from the cold and the shock. He’d heard Anne talking to him, but her voice was muffled - was she yelling at him, or comforting him? He couldn’t tell.

The ride to the hospital had been a blur. Eddie vaguely remembered protesting – he was fine, no, he’s okay, because Venom, there was Venom, and Venom had –

 Venom had –

 had –

The loneliness was colder than the water in which he had fallen. It ate him from the inside out, crawling around in the empty chasm that had formed inside of him. It clawed at him, scraped against his insides like it was trying to escape his all-too-human body. Eddie had never thought it was possible to feel  _too_  human. But he did.

 

* * *

 

The hospital bed was stiff and hard, and Eddie was acutely aware of the ache in his muscles, present even in the absence of movement. He struggled to sit up properly, something in him needing to  _move_ , needing to find something – some proof –

 – proof that he wasn’t –

“Eddie – Eddie, no –” A gentle hand was pushing him back down against his pillows, and he realized that it was Anne. She was standing over him, her expression concerned – more concerned than during the lobster fiasco at the restaurant, he thought. But she’d been angry, too, then. There was no anger this time. 

“Anne – what –” His voice was hoarse, and he gave a few wracking coughs before getting a full question out. “What’s going on?”

Even though he knew what was going on. He knew what had happened. But something in him hoped, just maybe, that she’d have a different answer for him. 

“You – Drake’s rocket, he –” Anne stumbled over her words for a moment before composing herself. “The rocket, it exploded,” she reminded him. “You – you stopped him. Drake, and...”

 _Riot_.

“We stopped him. Yeah.” Eddie said it more to himself than to Anne. “We did.”

The _we_ was important. The _we_ meant everything. He hadn’t realized before, how hollow he would feel without the _we_.

“I’m…glad you’re okay,” she said, and he heard her breathe a small sigh of what sounded like relief.

“Yeah... I am.”  _I_  am.

“Eddie?”

He looked up from his lap and saw that Anne’s expression had changed. It was sympathetic.

Did she know? Could she sense it?

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Eddie shook his head, not meeting her eyes. “I’m okay,” he mumbled.

A hand squeezed his shoulder.

“Dan said your tests were good so far. He thinks it’s a good idea that you stay overnight, just to be on the safe side.”

Eddie didn’t want to stay. He wanted to be back in his own dump of an apartment, eating leftover Chinese food –

– or tater tots –

He wanted to curl up in his own shitty bed, wanted to sulk in the small comfort of his own messy living space while drinking himself to sleep like he had after Anne had left him. He’d felt a similar emptiness then, but it hadn’t run so deep, hadn’t chilled him to the bone as if he’d been stabbed in the chest with an ice pick.

This was a different loneliness. A different emptiness. 

But he was tired – too tired to argue, too tired to try to get to his apartment. He wanted sleep. Maybe if he went to sleep he’d wake up and find that everything had been one terrible dream. 

Maybe he wouldn’t wake up alone.

 

Eddie managed to drift off, but not for as long as he would have liked. He had dreams – nightmares – about slime and tentacles, and of being ripped out of himself; of Drake – Riot – tearing that other part of him out, pulling it away. He had felt fear then, as though his subconscious had known before he did how painful it would be to lose that part of himself.

 

Proper sleep was a luxury not afforded to him that night. He lay awake for what felt like hours, staring up at the ceiling with that hollow feeling in his chest. He tried to meditate, like he’d never tried before, hoping that maybe, just maybe, if he relaxed and listened hard enough, he might sense something – anything – other than his own painful humanness.

There was nothing.

Eddie went to the adjoining bathroom, fumbling his way to the sink and mirror. He stared at himself in the glass, not entirely registering his haggard reflection. He thought back to the day he had... _found_  Venom. Or no. The day Venom had found  _him_. The brief glimpse he’d seen in the mirror, the one that had startled him into falling and knocking himself out.

Eddie gazed into the mirror. He focused on it, concentrated, as though he were trying to project his own will onto the glass.

But all he saw reflected was himself. 

 

* * *

 

Eddie checked himself out of the hospital as soon as he could the next morning, ignoring Anne’s concerned protests and briskly thanking Dan for his help. They were good people. But they couldn’t help him right now.

He went back to his shitty apartment, curled up in his shitty bed after eating some shitty Chinese food, and slept. He slept until he woke up, and then he slept again, opening his eyes only to close them right back. He lost track of what time it was, whether it was day or night. His dreams melted together into a jumble of incoherent fears and memories from the past couple of days, until he wasn’t sure what was real and what was just a product of his nightmares. 

Eddie woke up hungry. 

The clock said seven. Had he slept for twelve hours or two days? He wouldn’t have known it was nighttime if it weren’t for the small p.m. designation next to the numbers. 

The refrigerator was empty besides a couple beers, and the freezer was void of anything except – Eddie would have laughed if he’d had the energy – a bag of open tater tots. 

He tossed a handful of them onto a small pan and stuck it in the mini oven, leaning against the bar counter as he waited. His eyes briefly travelled over to the pile of bills still waiting to be paid. They had seemed like such a concern a few days ago. Now Eddie found he really couldn’t care less.

He spaced out enough that he was slightly startled by the high-pitched ding that announced his food was ready, and almost took out the pan with his bare hands before realizing that was a very bad idea. Grabbing a hand towel, he pulled the pan out and tossed it down on the counter, leaving no time for the food to cool before he was shovelling it in his mouth, giving a loud hum of satisfaction. He hadn’t realized how _hungry_ he was. When was the last time he ate? Probably whatever poor sap Venom had last, he imagined.

 _I won’t say anything else about you eating people_ , he found himself thinking – almost like a promise, or a bargain. _Well – bad people._

Eddie was still hungry, but he ignored it for the time being as he turned on his CD player and lay in the middle of the living room floor. He had grown to hate Eckhart Tolle, but something in him was desperate.

It was easy to empty his mind this time; it felt more vacant than it ever had before. His own thoughts echoed in his skull, reverberating like a never-ending broadcast on a stereo speaker in his head. When Venom had first popped up, Eddie had pined for the former days of silence and privacy. Now it felt too silent, and he found himself willing to give up that bit of his privacy if it meant not being alone in his head like this.

_Come on, man. Tell me I’m a loser, or a pussy. Roast me for being pathetic right now._

But his mind was quiet.

Why was he so torn up about this? He and Venom had shared a body for only a day, perhaps; he’d known one-night stands from college for longer. So why did it feel like he’d lost a vital part of himself?

 _A perfect match_. That’s what Venom had said. The symbiote had been in several other bodies while in Drake’s lab, but they had _stayed_ with Eddie. They had _chosen_ him. Maybe it was that sentiment, the feeling of being wanted – needed – that had temporarily filled a void in his life that he hadn’t even known existed.

Now Venom was gone, and that void was back.

 

* * *

 

The days passed by in a blur. Eddie didn’t leave his apartment, using Uber Eats for food even though he knew he barely had any money left. He couldn’t bring himself to go out. He was short and vague when Anne called to check in on him, and eventually stopped answering her calls altogether. He spent hours lying in his bed, wishing that he could just sink into it and disappear. Sometimes he would actually go a day or more without eating, finding a strange comfort in the hunger. Venom had made him feel hungry. Maybe if he starved himself enough, the symbiote’s voice would pop back up, demanding tater tots or human heads.

Eddie was startled out of an afternoon nap one day by a knock on the door. He sat up and groaned, looking around the room as though trying to remember where he was. The knocking persisted, rhythmic and insistent, and Eddie suddenly recalled the last time he’d had visitors at his door.

Taking his time plodding across the apartment, Eddie opened the door with a lazy swing, blinking sleepily at the figure in the hallway.

“Oh, Eddie – Jesus.”

Anne’s sigh was exasperated, but sympathetic. She pushed past him into his apartment and surveyed the environment with a look of concern and horror.

“Eddie, when’s the last time you went out?” she asked incredulously.

Eddie shut the door and scratched his head, shrugging his shoulders.

“I dunno.”

“Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” She turned to look at him, frowning in what he thought might be worry.

“Nothin’ to really talk about, y’know.” He shrugged. “It’s over.”

“What –? What’s over, Eddie?”

“Everything.” He wearily swung his arms around to gesticulate his point. “You and me, Drake, Ve –” he stopped himself as his former bodymate’s name started to form on his lips. “…it’s all over.”

“Yeah, but Eddie – you stopped him, you stopped Drake. That’s a good thing,” Anne insisted.

“Yeah. I know.”

Eddie slumped down on his couch, barely noticing as Anne sat down beside him.

“Is this about Venom?” she asked gently.

Eddie was silent.

He heard a soft sigh next to him, and Anne opened her mouth, pausing as though she was thinking over what she wanted to articulate.

“I know that it’s…tough. Eddie, you’ve been through a lot –”

Eddie gave a dark chuckle. “Yeah, no kidding.” He’d lost everything only to lose it again – and again, he had Carlton Drake to blame.

“I know this is hard, Eddie, I understand. But you can’t just shut yourself in like this, it’s not healthy –”

“No, no, no – you don’t – you don’t understand.” Eddie found himself standing up from the couch, a sudden anger and bitterness consuming him. “I lost everything – I lost you, I lost my career, my old apartment. Barely getting by, about to lose _this_ apartment, and then – then I get stuck with an alien _up my ass_ and hunted down by the henchmen of a fucking psychopath who wants to help a race of aliens invade the whole damn planet. But you – you know what, the – the alien wasn’t the worst part. We – we were alright. We made a good team. We _helped_ each other – _we_ took down Drake and Riot. _We_ did.” He jabbed a finger at his chest, even though there was only one person there now.

“I know, Eddie, I’m sorry –”

“What am I supposed to do now?” he asked accusingly. “Am I – am I supposed to just pretend like nothing happened? Just move on with my life – my little, miserable shitty life that I was living before getting a fucking _parasite_?”

He stopped, listening.

Nothing.

“Goddamn it.”

“Eddie.” Anne looked genuinely concerned, standing up and walking over to him. She reached out but he backed away, not making eye contact.

“Listen,” she said softly. “Why don’t you come stay with us for a bit? I know Dan won’t mind – we’re both worried about you. And he knows some good psychiatrists in the area –”

“Psychiatrist? What, you – you wanna send me to a _shrink_?”

“There’s no shame in needing help, Eddie.”

“Help from _what_? Wha – what do I need help with, huh?”

“You’ve experienced a lot of traumatic events recently. Sometimes it helps to just…talk to someone.”

“Oh, yeah – I – I’m gonna go in, just like – ‘oh hey, I had an alien in my body and now they're gone, uh, y’know most people might be glad about that but I actually miss the little bastard for some reason’. Yeah that – you know where that’s gonna get me? A nice little room with white walls and a strait jacket.”

“ _Eddie_.” Anne’s tone was soft but firm. “Please listen to me.”

“Oh I am – I am definitely listening. Loud and clear, ears wide open now that I don’t have a voice in my head all the time!”

“Come on, Eddie. Let’s go.” She had the same tone of voice she had used when she forced him to go to the hospital after the fiasco at his old building.

“Anne,” he sighed, some of the fight leaving him. “I appreciate this, but I don’t –”

“If you don’t want to go to a psychiatrist, fine – but you’re at least coming with me and eating a decent meal. Also a shower wouldn’t be a bad idea.” She wrinkled her nose a little, and Eddie realized he must effectively smell like a dump truck.

 

* * *

 

Dan was a good guy. A really, _really_ good guy, Eddie realized, who was willing to let his girlfriend’s garbage fire of an ex-fiancé into their nice clean home as he was having what Eddie could only categorize as his second mid-life breakdown.

Eddie showered, which made him feel better physically at the very least. He was still depressed, but he felt better about being depressed while smelling like Anne’s cherry blossom body wash. He forced himself to eat the dinner Dan whipped up, which he had to admit wasn’t too shabby and tasted _great_ after a couple days with no food. It gave him a bit of energy so that he didn’t feel like a slug trying to cross a room every time he moved.

They had him stay in the guest room overnight, even after he insisted he should just go home. Eddie appreciated the concern, but he still wanted nothing more than to curl up with his loneliness and let it continue eating away at him.

“Hey, Eddie…”

Eddie looked up to see Dan standing in the doorway to the bedroom.

“I know you said you didn’t want to see anyone, but in case you change your mind…” He held out a small business card, which Eddie realized was for a psychiatrist.

“Look, Dan, I appreciate it, but I can’t afford –”

 “Don’t worry about that.” Dan gently pushed the card into his hand. “We’ve got it covered.”

Eddie looked up at him, frowning as he scanned the other man’s face, but he could see no ill will or irritation buried beneath the surface.

“Why are you doing this?” he found himself asking quietly.

“Doing what?”

“Being so nice to me. Helping me.”

“Eddie, I’m a doctor. Helping people is my job.” Dan offered him a good-natured smile. “Besides, I know that Anne cares about you; if you’re important to her, then you’re important to me.”

Eddie sat there dumbfounded, staring at Dan until the other man firmly patted his shoulder.

“Things’ll be alright, Eddie. Don’t worry.”

_Things’ll be alright. Don’t worry._

He wished he could believe that.

His dreams that night were no better than the ones he’d had since coming home from the hospital. Fire and smoke. Drake, Riot. Water. Darkness.

Venom.

 

* * *

 

Eddie woke up feeling hollow and cold.

However kind his hosts were, they both had important adult jobs, so he was left alone in the apartment. He didn’t bother getting out of bed for a while, rolling around in hopes that maybe he’d fall back asleep – or into a coma. The latter would be nice.

Still lying down, Eddie took the card Dan had given him and turned it over in his hands a few times. He didn’t know what help a shrink would be; it wasn’t as if he could tell them the whole truth, and even if he could – it wasn’t going to fix anything. Wasn’t going to bring Venom back.

After a few more hours of wallowing in his misery, Eddie forced himself to go out. He didn’t have any particular goal in mind, other than to try to take his mind off of the numb loneliness that was chilling him to the very core.

He found himself walking around downtown in no determined direction, letting his legs lead wherever they felt like. Maybe he just hoped to tire himself out.

_Why are you so sad, Eddie?_

He didn’t know.

_But you do know, Eddie._

Did he?

_They were important to you._

Yeah, maybe they were.

Eddie didn’t register that someone was speaking to him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wh – huh?” His head snapped up and he found himself face to face with a weary but kind-looking blonde woman. She was smiling at him, though her expression seemed slightly concerned. He realized with a start that he had been standing in the same spot without moving for a while now.

“I asked if you were here for Group,” she prompted him.

“Gr – Group?”

“The grief counselling.” She gestured to a nearby sign, which announced a group meeting for people who had lost a loved one. It looked like it was a regular event – every Wednesday at six o’clock.

Eddie shook his head slightly.

“Uh, actually I –”

“What’s your name?” She was still smiling at him, and Eddie couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye.

“Uh – Eddie.”

_Eddie? Eddie Brock? **The** Eddie Brock?_

“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie. I’m Carol.” She took his hand in her own and gently squeezed.

Eddie nodded politely.

“So you – d’you run this thing, or?”

“I do. I decided to start it after I lost my wife in an accident. I found that the people around me every day just couldn’t understand the pain – so I made a place for people who would.”

Eddie was silent, processing the information. He wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“I’m – sorry about your wife,” he mumbled.

“You just lost someone, didn’t you?” she asked, in what Eddie could almost call a motherly voice. “Don’t be afraid. The group is open to everyone.”

Eddie hesitated again, staring at the sign, but before he could gather his thoughts the woman was leading him into the small building. He didn’t fight it; something in him wondered if he’d been meant to come here, if something had subconsciously led him to this place. Otherwise it was awfully coincidental.

The room they met in was a small space with a group of chairs in a circle. Eddie couldn’t help but find the whole setup ridiculously cliché. There were already several people sitting around in the chairs, and they glanced up when the two of them walked in. Carol guided him over to an empty seat, taking the one next to him.

“Good evening, everyone! It’s good to see you all again; I hope everyone has been doing well. Since it’s just after six o’clock, I say we get started. Is there anyone who wants to start us off tonight?”

Eddie was thankful when other people volunteered; he wasn’t sure he would even know how to begin, or if he wanted to. He listened to the others talk about burying their children, losing their spouses – they’d had to say goodbye to people they had known, loved, for years. Why was he here? He couldn’t know that pain. All he’d gotten was a day.

The rest of the circle took turns sharing, and then eyes were suddenly on him.

“As you can see,” Carol announced, “we’ve got a new face with us here tonight. This is Eddie. Eddie, you don’t have to share anything yet if you don’t want to. Take all the time you need.”

Eddie nodded, giving a half-hearted wave as he averted his own gaze from everyone else.

He didn’t have a place to talk. These people had clearly suffered more than he had; what right did he have to act like his pain was equal?

“I – I…lost someone.”

Eddie was surprised to hear himself speaking. Something pushed the words out of him, as though they wanted to be free, wanted Eddie to say them – to voice it.

“Good, Eddie, go on,” Carol encouraged gently.

“I uh – we…we didn’t really know each other for very long. Not long at all, actually.” Eddie sniffed and rubbed the back of his neck. “But we were…close. We…we really synced, y’know? It was like an immediate connection or somethin’. I’d never really had that before – I mean, I did, but…” he trailed off, briefly thinking of Anne. “This was…different. At first I really took it for granted, I guess – I was…confused, and scared. But before I realized…before I realized how much they meant to me….” He frowned and concentrated on blinking away the tears that had suddenly popped up in his eyes. “They uh – they…they’re gone.”

He couldn’t quite bring himself to say the word “died” – it would make it too real, too permanent. Too final.

Eddie felt pressure on his hand and looked down to see that Carol was squeezing it in her own.

“Sometimes the people we know for the shortest time are the ones who have the most impact,” she stated. “It doesn’t mean it was any less meaningful.”

He shot a furtive glance around the room to see the others looking at him with understanding and empathy.

“Sometimes it hits harder,” a woman to Eddie’s left offered, “when we didn’t have as much time. It can feel like you were robbed.”

Robbed. It did feel a bit like that, didn’t it? Unfair, even.

“It hurts now, Eddie,” Carol said. “It might always hurt. But every day the hurt gets a little easier to bear.”

Eddie nodded, but he didn’t think it would ever get easier. And part of him didn’t want it to.

When Group ended, Eddie drifted over to the small table that held some cookies and lemonade. He stood there for a while, staring into his drink and letting himself space out.

He didn’t want the hurt to go away. It was the only thing he could feel; without it he feared he would be numb, without it he feared he would forget – would just move on with his life like Venom had never existed. Eddie didn’t think he could bring himself to do that.

Not when Venom had saved him – had _died_ for him.

No, Eddie couldn’t.

Carol caught him as he was leaving, letting him know he was welcome at the next meeting and that she hoped to see him there. Eddie mumbled some pleasantries in reply. He didn’t know if he’d go back; part of him did find a small comfort in knowing that, at the very least, these were people who understood – in their own way – that hollow void that he felt. But part of him was afraid that coming back would help heal him in a way that he wasn’t ready to be healed – and that was it, wasn’t it? Why he hadn’t wanted to see a psychiatrist in the first place, or let Anne and Dan help him.

Eddie _wanted_ to drown himself in his grief, almost as though he wanted to punish himself – for what? For not protecting them? For not being able to save Venom, for being the reason they died?

It was what he deserved.

He wandered around town some more, before settling down in one of the old bars he used to frequent. The barman gave him the pints he ordered with minimal conversation, for which Eddie was thankful, and the noise of the bar helped to alleviate the crushing silence in his head. He found himself wondering what Venom would think of the place – of the sound, the smell, the atmosphere. What would they think of the way humans liked to congregate in a place, specifically to get shit-faced and occasionally get into fistfights with other shit-faced strangers? Something told him the symbiote would find it all rather amusing.

There were so many things he didn’t know, so many things that he hadn’t asked. He knew they had been pressed for time, but Eddie wished he had slowed down to just _question_ things, to get to know the being he’d shared a body with. Maybe it would have given him more closure now that things had gone to shit.

Part of him knew that probably wasn’t true, though. He had known almost everything about Anne, and her leaving hadn’t devastated him any less.

 

* * *

 

Dan had always been a man of science: a rational man, one who required proof to confirm hypotheses, for whom “seeing is believing” had always held true. If someone had told him a couple weeks ago that he would end up helping a patient infected with an alien parasite, he would have laughed and sent them to a neurologist. But here he was, still reveling in the aftermath of the scientific disaster that was Eddie Brock.

To be fair, considering everything Eddie Brock had experienced in those short couple days, he’d held together remarkably well. Dan didn’t know if he would have had the same nerve. The thought of an alien crawling around inside him sent a stark chill up his spine.

Strangely, Eddie seemed to be heartbroken about losing his newfound…friend? He had seemed quite touchy when they referred to it as a parasite, so Dan didn’t particularly know what to call it. He wasn’t sure what all had happened between the hospital visit and that rocket exploding – only what Anne had related to him – but it seemed that Eddie and his alien companion had come to terms with each other, only for the latter to perish in the resulting explosion.

Dan couldn’t help feeling sorry for him; the poor guy had already been through a whirlwind of absurd events within a span of just 48 hours, and now he just seemed…lost. He had the same look on his face as when they had found him standing outside their apartment that night, as if he weren’t quite sure what to do with himself or his suffering, lugging it around with him like an oversized suitcase.

He knew there wasn’t much he or Anne could do to help that kind of pain, but Dan resolved to do his best. Leaving the hospital that night, he made a mental note to pick up some doughnuts or something on the way home – junk food usually made people feel a bit better, right?

It was while in the parking garage that Dan was overcome with the eerie feeling that he was being watched. He turned around and quickly scouted the area, but it appeared to be deserted. Shaking his head and telling himself he was just being paranoid, he continued walking to his car. The unsettling feeling didn’t go away, however; if anything, it was as if it were _following_ him. He resolved to ignore it as he unlocked his car, but before he could get inside, a voice froze him in his tracks.

“ ** _Dan_**.”

Dan turned around with a start, but let out a laugh when he saw who it was.

“Jerry!” Dan put a hand to his chest, letting out a relieved sigh. “Don’t scare me like that, ma –”

He was cut off by a sudden pressure to his windpipe, and realized that it was being squeezed – by Jerry’s hands, no less!

“Je – wha – you –”

As he fought to pry the other man’s hands off of him, he felt something cold and slick moving up his arms; with more than a moderate amount of horror, Dan looked down to see a dark mass moving over Jerry’s limbs and onto his own, attaching itself to him with a slight squelching sound. It bubbled against him, sliding up his arms and onto his shoulders, covering his neck and soaking into him like a slimy lotion.

Before he could completely register what had happened, the crushing pressure on his windpipe let up and Dan landed on the ground, coughing and taking in rasping inhales to get his breath back.

Glancing up, he saw that Jerry was beginning to come to, shaking his head and looking around in confusion.

“What the – Dan? You okay, man? What the hell just happened?”

Dan took the hand Jerry offered him and stood up, still rubbing his throat.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“It was like I was in a daze, like something was just – moving my body. I don’t even remember how I got out here.”

So Jerry didn’t remember trying to strangle him? That was for the best, he supposed.

“You look sick, Jerry.” Dan put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. The other man’s face was pale and he looked like he might throw up. “Why don’t you head back in and get someone to check you out, huh?”

“Yeah…yeah.” Jerry nodded a bit absently. “I think I’ll do that – I’ll definitely do that.”

He turned and headed back toward the entrance doors, glancing around a couple times as though expecting to be ambushed. Dan watched after him in concern, debating following him in, but before he could move in either direction, a voice stopped him again.

 **Get in the car**.

“What – who said that?!” Dan whirled around, nearly tripping over himself as he frantically looked about for the source of the voice.

He felt something bubbling inside of him again, stretching, and suddenly he found himself face to face with a row of sharp teeth and white, opalescent eyes.

“ ** _Don’t remember me? I’m hurt_**.”

One moment, Dan was watching those sharp teeth move, gums on display as the thing’s…lips, or whatever they were, rose up and down as it spoke, and the next thing he knew everything went black.

He woke up in the driver’s seat of his car with a start, his heart racing in his chest.

“What – what happened!?”

 **You fainted**.

“What – you –” Dan looked around again, but the only person in the car was him.

 **Shut up and listen**.

“Okay.” Dan took a deep breath, and exhaled before gulping nervously. “Listening.”

**Need you to take me to Eddie.**

“Eddie? Wh – Eddie _Brock_?”

**Who else?**

“Well, there are lots of people named Eddie –”

 **Shut up**.

“Got it.”

**Take me to him. Now.**

“What do you want with Eddie?” Dan asked, a bit breathless. “Wait – wait, you’re not…you’re not that…that _thing_? That thing I saw in the lab?”

 **Bingo**.

This wasn’t happening. Dan was hallucinating. He was hallucinating, he was going to get out of this car, go back in the hospital, and have himself checked in –

 **Nope. Not hallucinating**.

“Oh, god. Okay. What – why do you want – I thought you died. In the explosion.”

 **It was close. Managed to survive. Unfortunately, separated from my host. Now, quit stalling** –

“What – what makes you think Eddie wants you back?” Dan asked. “How do you know that?”

**Can see inside your head. Know he is miserable since our separation. Is lonely. As am I.**

“This is insane. Okay – so if I, if I take you back to Eddie, you’re gonna – what, just…hop back into his body?”

 **That is the plan**.

Dan didn’t know if he should listen. This thing could still be dangerous, for all he knew. It could kill people, as had been shown by the numerous casualties scattered about the city on the night Eddie had come into the hospital. Was it really a good idea to let this thing bond with Eddie again? It was using him – it had practically been devouring his organs before. He knew Eddie was sad, but was this really the best thing for him?

**You are worried. About Eddie.**

“Why do you want him so bad? What’s special about him?”

**A good host.**

“Okay, but if all you need is some organs to snack on, any human being should do.”

**No. Eddie is a one-of-a kind match.**

“What, is his liver extra delicious or something?”

 **Fool. You understand nothing about us**.

“Us? Who? You and Eddie?”

 **A perfect match. Will not let you impede our reunion**. **Now drive**.

Dan’s hands moved, but he wasn’t controlling them as they started the car and put it in reverse. He backed out of the parking space and began to drive, swallowing the nervous lump in his throat.

“So – so you and Eddie, then, you guys were like…buddies? You didn’t seem so friendly that night in the lab.”

 **No more...animosity about our situation. Worked together. More than friends. A bond you can't understand**.

“What,” Dan joked, “like marriage?”

**If that is how you see it, yes.**

The laugh that started in Dan’s throat turned into a cough. That hadn’t been the answer he was expecting.

“Okay, fine…I’ll take you to Eddie. But…I’m not gonna let you hurt him.”

**Why would I hurt Eddie?**

“I mean…isn’t that what your species is all about? Leeching off a human host, feeding on people?”

**Might have been true before. Different now. Will protect Eddie. From others, who want to harm him. Who want to harm _us_.**

“And why should I trust you?”

**Could have killed you – found another host to use. But need your help. And you are important. To Eddie. So I will not harm you.**

Dan gulped.

“If that’s the case, why’d you have to almost strangle me?”

**Sorry, not into that? Thought it was dramatic. Consider it payback for that MRI stunt.**

 

* * *

 

Anne was cooking dinner when she heard Dan’s car pull up. She quickly finished setting the table, including a place for Eddie even though she had a feeling he might not be coming back that night. She wanted to help him, but had enough years of experience to know how stubborn he could be. He had a habit of wallowing in his own misery until something came along to finally slap him out of it.

There was the sound of keys and the door opening, and Anne prepared herself for their usual greet-and-kiss when a deep voice that most definitely didn’t belong to Dan boomed in the hallway.

“ ** _Honey, I’m home_** _!_ ”

Alarmed, Anne ran into the entryway, her shock knocking her back into the stairwell as she let out a startled scream.

Before she could get up, the monster had shrunk, and Dan was standing before her looking frazzled.

“I’m sorry, honey – it wanted to do that, I told it not to –”

“It?! **_It?!_** ”

Dan opened his mouth to respond, but something was coming out of his chest – a black goop, a string of it – growing bigger, forming a head and then a pair of murky eyes, a sharp set of teeth –

“ _You **!**_ ” Anne gaped at the creature looming in front of her, a wide grin plastered across its face.

“ ** _Miss me?_** ”

“Wha – what are you –” She scrambled up and took a couple steps back, pointing at Venom indignantly. “You’re dead!”

“ ** _Nope_**.”

“Why – why are you in Dan!?”

“ ** _Had to catch a ride somewhere._** ”

“It found me in the parking lot,” Dan explained breathlessly. “It wants Eddie.”

“Eddie?” Anne took a moment to recover herself, steadying her breathing and letting her heartrate settle. “Why do you want Eddie?”

“ ** _He misses me_**.  
  
“You sound so sure of yourself,” Anne remarked.

“ ** _You know differently?_** ”

“N – no, I…” Anne sighed. “He has been miserable.”

“Yeah, but Anne – can we really trust this thing -?” Dan began to protest, but a thick scarf of black goo wrapped itself around his mouth before he could finish.

“ ** _Eddie._** ”

Anne hesitated, looking between the hovering face and Dan, who was looking increasingly distressed.

“Okay.” She said finally. “I’m going to call him.”

Dan tried to say something beneath his goo muzzle, but she ignored him for the moment and turned to Venom. Standing up to eye level, she held the creature’s gaze, pointing a steady finger at them.

“If you hurt him – and I mean if you hurt _one little bone in his body_ , you will have to answer to _me_ , got it?” She jabbed the finger closer to them. “ _I_ know your weaknesses, and you better believe I will use them if I need to.”

Venom chuckled, leaning their head closer to her face.

“ ** _Do not worry. Last thing I would want...is hurt Eddie._** _”_

* * *

 

Eddie was just exiting the bar when his cell rang, and he saw that Anne was trying to call him. He had intended to go back to his own apartment for the night, part of him not wanting to burden anyone else and part of him just wanting to shut away again. He answered the call reluctantly, putting on a voice like he hadn’t just been drinking away his sorrows.

“Hey – Anne, uh, what’s up?”

“Eddie. I just, um, wanted to see if you were heading back here for the night?”

There was something edgy in her voice, as if she were treading lightly over her words for some reason.

“Sorry, Anne, I was actually just gonna go back to my apartment –”

“No! I mean, um – you should really come back, at least for another night. We’ve got a nice dinner cooked up and Dan found a good comedy on Hulu. We thought the three of us could watch it together, just kind of…relax and have fun, you know?”

Eddie frowned, contemplating her words. He knew she probably pitied him – Dan, too – and the last thing they needed was him dampening their otherwise happy evening.

He sighed.

“Listen, Anne, I appreciate all this, but –”

“Please, Eddie. We both want you here.”

Eddie balked slightly, taken aback. Anne’s voice sounded nervous, almost desperate, and he began to grow concerned that there was something else going on – something he should be worried about.

“Okay. Okay, Anne. I’ll be there in a bit.”

A sigh on the other end, like a breath of relief.

“Great. Okay. We’ll see you soon. Bye, Eddie.”

“Bye…”

He hung up, still puzzled and uneasy about the conversation, but he decided to try to shrug it off as he walked back toward Anne’s place.

 

* * *

 

The apartment smelled like warm food when he entered, and Eddie’s rumbling stomach silently thanked him for caving in to his ex’s pleas. He trod into the kitchen, looking around for either of its occupants.

“Hello? Annie? It’s Eddie –”

There was some commotion in the other room and then Anne emerged, her cheeks flushed. She offered him a smile that was too anxious for Eddie’s liking, standing at the end of the kitchen table and wringing her hands.

“Hi! Eddie – I’m glad you came back.”

“Uh, yeah… Can’t say no to a home-cooked meal.” He gave his own nervous laugh. “So uh…is Dan here? Are we eating, or…?”

“Yes. Um. Well, first.” She paused, glancing furtively over her shoulder into the other room. “There’s something, uh – well, we have something for you.”

Eddie frowned, trying to see over Anne’s shoulder into the other room.

“Uh, okay… what is it?”

 Anne cleared her throat, before turning and addressing someone he couldn’t see.

“Come on.”

A moment later Dan entered the room with a cardboard box – the kind that Anne always kept files in when they had been living together. He was holding it a good distance away from himself, looking uneasy – as though he didn’t want to get too close to whatever was in it. Eddie watched as he set it down on the kitchen table, moving away from the container all too quickly to stand next to Anne.

Eddie looked back and forth between the box and the couple, confused.

“What uh – what’s all this?”

“Just open it, Eddie,” Anne offered, gesturing to the box. She looked nervous, but also excited – as though she was anxious for him to open it, but also worried about what his reaction might be.

Taking one last look at the two of them, Eddie hesitantly walked over to the box. Arriving closer, he noticed that there was something on top – a small pink Christmas bow, stuck on the middle of the lid like an afterthought. What on earth could be in here that Anne and Dan were so tense about?

Carefully, Eddie reached over and lifted the lid, moving it aside to view the box’s contents.

All he saw at first glance was darkness, as if a black blanket had covered the bottom. He squinted; _was_ this it, a blanket? He wouldn’t complain – it could get drafty in his apartment. But before he could turn to say anything to Anne and Dan, the blanket started moving; it rose up, like a King Cobra coming out of its container for the snake charmer, the mass twisting and stretching as if it were awakening from a long slumber.

It raised itself to eye level with him, and Eddie found himself staring at the thing in awe, transfixed. The mass was staring back at him – or well, it would have been if it had had a face, Eddie was sure. He almost couldn’t believe his eyes; were they playing tricks on him? Was this some kind of joke on Anne’s part? Dan’s?

“You…” His voice came out barely a whisper, his words suddenly not wanting to work for him as he tried to express the sudden influx of feelings. “You – it can’t be…”

The black blob moved slightly, giving the distinct impression of a head cocking to the side curiously. Eddie slowly reached out toward it, and the shapeless mass gently prodded at his hand like a timid street cat before softly nudging his palm, brushing against it as if asking permission.

Eddie had given it permission even before he nodded his head, and the creature took no hesitation in joining him more closely. It climbed his arm like a ladder, curling and settling around his neck like a cozy scarf before slowly melting into his skin. Eddie could feel warmth spread through his body, making his own muscles melt as the alien worked its way around inside of him, as if it were checking to see if anything had been misplaced since its last visit.

It finally settled down, resting docile inside of him while still emitting that soothing warmth – the warmth that Eddie had missed for so long. He had almost forgotten what it felt like.

He stood frozen in place for a few moments, staring at what was now an empty box, before he remembered the other presences in the room. Looking over at Anne and Dan, he could only blink and abruptly open and close his mouth. What could he even say?

“How–?”

“I don’t know, Eddie,” Anne replied. Once she seemed certain that he wasn’t going to have a meltdown, she came closer, placing her hand on his arm. “It survived the explosion somehow.  We’re guessing it just jumped from host to host until it found Dan at the hospital.”

“Dan–?”

“Yeah.” Dan coughed and scratched the back of his neck. “Decided to hitch a ride. Can’t say it was the best feeling in the world.”

No, it wasn’t. Eddie remembered what it had been like when he’d first bonded with Venom; confused, not knowing what was going on, he could only feel sick and violated. But now the presence inside of him brought a familiar comfort, a companionship. He knew that Dan probably couldn’t understand that, and he made no effort to explain it to him.

“Thank you,” he said, “for…for this.”

Anne smiled, and it finally didn’t seem nervous anymore.

“It was really determined to be with you, Eddie.”

Eddie placed a hand to his chest, where he could feel a steady purr, and smiled to himself.

“Yeah. What d’you know.” He glanced back over at the box. “Was that –”

“Your buddy’s idea,” Anne replied, slightly amused. “Seems to have a flare for the dramatic.”

 _I’ll say_.

Eddie suddenly realized Venom had been quiet so far, and he began to panic internally, until a soft voice soothed his thoughts.

**Right here, Eddie. Right here.**

He closed his eyes and breathed a deep sigh of relief. Before he was even aware of what he was doing, he’d turned and pulled Dan into a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

The other man was startled, but amicably patted Eddie’s back.

“Don’t uh – mention it. Not that I really had a choice. That thing was pretty persistent.” He gave a good-natured chuckle.

Eddie pulled back, and this time it was Anne he embraced – and it was then that the tears finally came.

“You – you don’t know how… I, I don’t – God, just…thank you. Thank you.”

“Eddie…” Anne held him there for a moment, until his sobbing finally ceased and he pulled back, wiping his face on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I just –”

“It’s okay, Eddie. It’s been a rough couple of weeks.” She gently squeezed his shoulder. “Let’s have some dinner and relax for the rest of the night.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, that uh – that’d be great.”

 

* * *

 

He decided to stay one more night at Anne’s, too emotionally and physically exhausted to make the trek back to his own apartment. After they’d eaten dinner, Eddie made that fatigue an excuse to go to bed early, but truthfully, he just wanted to be alone. Venom had remained unusually silent during their meal, but Eddie was able to feel them – moving, exploring their old habitat with contentment.

Closing the door to the guest bedroom, Eddie fell back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He lay there in silence for a few moments, just taking in the events of the past few hours; he hardly dared to believe any of it, and was afraid that if he fell asleep he would wake up only to find out that it had been a wishful dream.

**Not a dream, Eddie.**

He felt movement, a chill, and then Venom had partially formed above him, their opal eyes watching him calmly.

“You’re okay,” Eddie whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

 **And you**.

“Because of you.” He could feel more tears leak out and slide down his face, onto the pillow. “I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry.”

Eddie felt something brush against his cheek, and out of the corner of his eye he could see a black tendril, carefully wiping the side of his face.

  **Do not blame yourself. We lived. Now together again.**

“I’m glad. I thought – I thought I’d…lost you.”

**Only a while. Will not let it happen again.**

“You better keep your word on that,” Eddie teased, but inside he was serious.

 **Always keep my word to you, Eddie.**  
  
Eddie reached up and tentatively touched Venom’s face, his fingers roaming along the silky grooves and ridges, the smooth curve of their head. He could feel the symbiote vibrating softly beneath his touch.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

**Easy. You would still be a loser. Live in a shitty apartment. Pine over ex-girlfriend.**

“Oh? And what about you? Without me, you’d be stuck in some poor sap in Drake’s lab, munching on some subpar organs.”

But Eddie was smiling, and they both knew that their current situation was much better than any alternative.

Eddie kicked off his jeans and turned out the light, sliding under the bed covers. He could feel wiggling beside him, the bedcovers moving and rising as Venom’s form settled next to him, tendrils snaking their way around his waist and his chest. The symbiote latched onto him, and Eddie could feel their shared warmth, spreading out through his chest and down the rest of his body before settling like a calm wave at the beach.

Wrapping his own arms around the mass next to him, Eddie burrowed into the softness, letting himself sink down into the cloudlike bliss that surrounded him – that surrounded them both.

“Good night,” he mumbled, sleep already taking over.

**Good night – Eddie, love.**


End file.
